4/3/08

TFT Chapter 1

Well here it is finally. It's mostly introductory, but that's what happens when you write Chapter 2 first. I had some dots to connect so I was a little limited in that respect. But I'm really happy with it and it flows right into Chapter 2. So here it is, Chapter 1 of the (as of yet untitled) Twisted Fairy Tale.

Chapter 1
King Richard Eldridge was a good man. Some Kings ruled with a steady hand and an Iron fist, but not Richard. So even tempered was he, that even the Kings and Queens of neighboring kingdoms enjoyed his company and dared not invade his kingdom of Garemath simply because they liked him. His people liked him too, and treated him as much as a King as they did a friend.
But as much as everyone loved King Richard, they couldn’t help but wonder how someone with a heart so pure could produce a child like Delletrium, for she was certainly all things his opposite. The day she was born, the people rejoiced, for their beloved King and Queen had finally brought them a Princess and with her a new future of continued happiness under the fairest of rule.
Initially she was everything they had hoped for and was every bit her father’s daughter. But something happened to her and she became cruel. She shouted at and belittled her servants. She banned anyone from playing music in her presence. She forbade fairies from singing and often banished them from the city. She sent people to jail for whatever she could think of. She made up rules as she saw fit, often forcing Knights and castle guards to enforce her will. She hated everyone and everything so long as they were happy. For some reason, she thrived on the misery of others. It was as if she could not be happy unless those around her were not.
By Delletrium’s sixteenth birthday, the people had signed a petition pleading with King Richard to do something about his daughter’s insufferable cruelty. He tried to control her but it only enraged her more and a huge fight broke out between the two of them. King Richard would later admit it was the first time he had raised his voice in thirty years. It was obvious that she could not be controlled.
One day while pacing before his throne, the door to the throne room burst open as one of his trusted guards ran to him, kneeling at his feet.
“They’ve taken her, my lord,” he said out of breath.
“Who? Has taken who?” asked the King.
“Princess Delletrium,” choked the guard. “Someone must have finally taken it upon himself to put an end to her cruelty. She left the castle two hours ago and has disappeared.”
“That’s impossible, she never leaves here without a battalion of guards! Each one has a working pair of eyes. I’d like to know what happened,” said the King, as calmly as he could manage.
“Sire, she got in the carriage. We escorted her to the square and when we got there, it was empty.”
“There must have been magic. A spell. What did you see?” asked the King, still calm, but with less patience.
“Nothing, Sire. There was no spell. No magic that any of us saw. She was just… gone.”
“…” King Richard started to speak, but stopped himself. He stroked his long beard and thought for a moment. “I don’t suppose trying to keep this quiet will do any good. I will…”
He was interrupted by the doors bursting open again. In ran his wife, Oreteah, who ran to him sobbing.
“Is it true?! Is it true what they’ve told me?!” she cried. “Delletrium has been kidnapped?!”
“Calm yourself, please,” he spoke with his soothing voice. “Let us not jump to conclusions. She is a young girl with a very strong will. To assume she has been kidnapped this early would be foolish. She is however, missing.”
Queen Oreteah began sobbing again at the word ‘missing.’ Realizing there was nothing he could do about that this moment, The King turned to his guard and said, “First get me my advisors. Then take the necessary steps to have thousands of bulletins drawn up. The people need to know she is missing. 10,000 gold bricks to whoever brings her to me safely. Then start a full patrol. I want every Knight, guard, and servant looking for her. Even the chefs and the court jesters.”
“Yes, lord,” answered the guard, and ran out of the room.
“Calm yourself, my dear,” he comforted his sobbing wife. “We will find her. She’s not been gone two hours. We’ll have her back before nightfall.”
“Are you sure?” smiled Oreteah through her tears.
“Of course I am,” he smiled back.

The streets erupted with joy the next day at the sign of the first flyers being posted.
“Finally, we’re free! No more fear!” shouted one man.
“I can sing again!” sang one fairy to her friend.
“I’m taking this flyer home and framing it!” someone else laughed.
It seemed the talk of the town was not the huge reward, but the common elation that the evil Princess of Garemath had finally gotten what she deserved. The reward was enough money for the poorest person to retire on, and yet no one wanted to be the one to find her. All the money in the King’s vault may not have been enough. The people of Garemath were now allowed to be happy again and no price could be put on that.
“What do we do? It has been a week!” groaned King Richard to his advisors from his throne.
No one spoke up. They looked at their feet. At the marble floor, the huge pillars, and the blue and gold tapestries hanging between each window. They looked at the Queens empty throne. They looked at anything but they King’s eyes. It was as if they all knew the answer but weren’t brave enough to say it.
“Your Majesty… if I may?” spoke one of them, cautiously raising his hand.
“Thenon,” answered the King, looking up at him with hope. “If you have a suggestion, I beg you present it.”
“With all due respect, Sire. The people are…” he hesitated to say it. “…Happy that she is gone. I’m afraid the consensus among them is that no reward is great enough to return to the way things were. I suggest we look elsewhere for help.”
“Surely there must be someone here, greedy enough to seek a 10,000 gold brick reward. It’s enough to buy a square mile of land, build a house and never work again!” said the King.
“Forgive me for saying so, lord. But to wait for the people of Garemath to act would be a waste of time. Send our men beyond the confines of the city. The neighboring towns will surely have people willing to look for her. Especially in Sprewt. Despite being a part of your kingdom, greed is their sole motivation. There must be someone there who wants that gold badly enough.”
“You make a fair point my dear, Thenon. I shall send our men to the borders and everywhere in between. The entire kingdom shall be notified! Make a new post! Anyone wishing to claim a reward of 10,000 gold bricks, need only bring my daughter to me alive. Make it so!” he proclaimed, and swiftly left the hall. The advisors talked amongst themselves for a minute before filing out of the hall.
The capital city of Garemath located in the kingdom of Garemath was the center of the entire kingdom. It completely dwarfed every other town in the kingdom and accounted for about half of the population. It was triple walled with two motes to keep invaders out. The gates to the city were magnificent and were as famous as anything else within the walls. Garemath was home to museums, theaters, two stadiums, and all things Garemathean culture. The people who lived there knew it was great and appreciated it.
It didn’t take long for messenger parties to begin leaving the city in all directions. Sprewt, the nearest town to the south was a prime location to seek help. It was the last town before reaching the city along the South Road and passing travelers accounted for nearly 70% of the town’s income. The only thing the residents of Sprewt loved to see more than people leaving their town was the sight of more people coming in to spend more of their money there. Thenon was right. Sprewt was a town motivated solely by greed.
Edin was the second nearest town to the west. It sat along the river and was best known for its shipyard. Not far from the ocean, it was a perfect place to construct a boat, launch it into the river, and sail it straight out to sea. Hundreds of boats of all shapes and sizes were built there every year. They built ships for the King’s navy. For private uses like fishing and sailing, or for the occasional pirate who wished to buy a new ship instead of stealing one.
As prosperous as one might think Edin was, it was a place many feared. People worked hard there during the day and had little patience left at night. High crime led to most families moving out. It became a safe haven for thieves, pirates, and witches and wizards turned evil. The streets were dark and dirty and did nothing to provide any feeling of safety to an innocent traveler. Most innocent travelers didn’t last long there anyway. Someone going there to work or be up to no good had a slim chance of survival. But a lost traveler or an unknowing outsider had zero chance of survival.
To the south between Garemath and Sprewt lied the Wanton Woods, which was a forest that could not be traversed because no one knew the way through. An old legend told that the forest was very much alive and could think and its favorite activity was to trick travelers into going the wrong way. It lied about the direction you were going. It lied about the time of day. You never knew where you were going or how long you’d been there.
People took to calling it the Lying Woods. Some chose to believe it and some chose not to. But those who chose not to believe it were only people who had never tried to make it through the forest. There was a road around the forest, which took three days to traverse and was the most heavily traveled route in the southern kingdom. People tried to cut through the forest to avoid the long distance, but none succeeded.
Graundeu was located to the north and sat at the base of the mountains. Anyone looking to travel through the mountains would surely stop there first. Many of Garemath’s citizens went to Graundeu before the winter to buy winter clothes, extended life candles, snowshoes, and magic lamp oil that could burn for hours on just one drop. When it came to cold weather survival, nobody did it better than the people of Grandeu.
Graundeu was the farthest town from the capital in the kingdom of Garemath but was a very important part of the King’s land because it was also home his largest barracks. Soldiers who trained at Graundeu were considered among the elite in the King’s army. If you could survive training in the freezing temperatures, blizzards, ice and snow, it was assumed that you could survive anything.
One by one the messenger parties arrived at towns throughout the kingdom. There were hundreds of smaller villages under the King’s control so the messengers didn’t stay long. Only long enough to give the bulletins to the local government with instructions to post them all over the town and have them read publicly three times a day over the next week. Everyone would be made aware of the situation.
The general consensus was similar to that of the Garemath. No reward would really be enough. But there were some with enough greed, or who lived far enough beyond the capital that they weren’t affected by the popular opinion. Knights, elves, witches, wizards, dwarfs, and even farmers and blacksmiths began making their way toward the capital with a dream worth 10,000 gold bricks. People from all walks of life began responding to the call. And not the noble kind.

3 comments:

Kat said...

A lot of exposition... I'm not sure it draws me in as a first chapter should. You're telling us about the characters, but we don't feel them, does that make sense?

Nick said...

I get what you mean... I'm just not sure how I could do it differently. My goal was to have it all happen very fast. Did I go too fast? Would a scene with the King and Queen alone discussing things help us get to know them better? What do you think?

Kat said...

i think less is more; don't explain so much, get to the action but be very descriptive - get the reader INTO the story, don't just tell it. at the moment, i can't be more helpful, sorry!