My Latest and Greatest

As I sit here at work, bored and cold, I figured I would write a little to pass some time. This could prove difficult considering it's so cold in here, I can't feel my fingers. Typing is already getting harder. Hooray for spell check. Anyway, I wanted to write about my current projects. I'd rather be writing them as opposed to writing about them but it is what it is.

1. Kevin Tanner. This is the book that going to make me a millionaire beyond my wildest dreams. Or not. Either way it's damn sure fun to write. The current Tanner project is the evolution of something Rich and I have been writing for ten years. There are two other Tanner stories, but both need to be rewritten as one of them was written by two high school kids and one only exists in notebooks. The current project is a little more mature. I use that term VERY lightly though. Lots of childish humor, dick jokes, and silly things combined with a shit-ton of action. Guns, car chases, blowing things up, and believe it or not, a story that's different from anything we've ever done. Our main character is usually a consummate bad ass who always has enough bullets, rarely gets hurt, has infinite resources, and cooler toys than the bad guy. This time, we took all that away from him. He's running around fearing for his life in this one. It's different (for us) and that actually makes it better. As bad as we've made it for Kevin this time around, you'll wonder would we go so far as to kill him this time? Maybe. You'll have to read it. Or watch the movie after we've sold it to a studio for a BOzillion dollars. It is as of yet untitled (along with the first two) but figure it will be something along the lines of Kevin Tanner: (Something Cool and Dangerous Sounding) OR Kevin Tanner and The (Dangerous and Cool Sounding Shit)

2. The Twisted Fairy Tale. This one is so much fun, we've only just started it and I can't wait for it to be done so I can read it myself. I'm doing this one with the lovely and talented Ms. Katherine Sauchelli. She came to me with the idea of a twisted fairy tale. I love conventional things that have been screwed with to make them unconventional so I was pretty stoked on this from the beginning. The idea here is twisted fairy tale. NOT a parody. Then we wind up with Shrek. That's been done and it's been done too well to even attempt to replicate. No no, this is a fairy tale where nothing is really what you'd expect. We have kidnapped princess who is an evil, horrible bitch. The people celebrate her disappearance as opposed to mourning it. Gnomes are little assholes instead of kind little people you'd expect. Fairies are still good natured, but all have different abilities and can be quite annoying most of the time. Our main character is only in it for the money (just like everyone else cause they all hate the Princess too). I can't tell you much about him yet because I haven't written much of him. I've named him Sir Michael Graves (this may change though). He wears rusty armor and is accompanied by an enormously fat cat named Argyle. Every time Graves speaks or does anything, there is a possibility for a joke, or for something you didn't expect. It's gonna be a good time.

3. The third project. That's all I can call it for now. I wanted to collaborate on something with Lauren and I had nothing. I've had this idea for a long time of a regular guy working in cubicle hell. One day, the building gets taken over, or partially destroyed, etc... Bad things. So Mr. Normal has to fight his way out without any kind of military training. And he's kind of a dick who will actually be a nice guy by the end of the whole thing. But I scrapped that idea. I still have the asshole guy trapped in cubicle hell... but I'm pretty sure I won't be going the action route. So basically that leaves me with Office Space... which has been done already and leaves me with very little interest as a result. So I may be scrapping the whole thing. Eventually I will have something worth sending to Lauren, though it may have absolutely nothing to do with offices.

So that's the three current projects. The first one is very much near completion, but there is still much to be done as far as editing and whatnot. If you have any interest in reading anything, let me know. I'd be happy to send a chapter or two your way.