Why do people bitch about Christmas so much? It's such a festive time of year and all people want to do is gripe about crowded malls and shopping and waah, waah, waah. Bitching about problems to which the solutions are easy and obvious is just an outstanding way to earn a check in "Nick doesn't care" column.
If you don't want to deal with people (and let's be honest here, that's what we all hate about it. It's not the holiday or the shopping. You're getting gifts for people you generally enjoy... otherwise you wouldn't be getting them anything. But it's the enormous crowds of OTHER PEOPLE trying to do the exact same thing att he same time you are which does nothing but slow you down.) and you've got plenty of shopping to do, here'swhatchado:
Do ALL of your shopping online. All of it. EVERY manufacturer has their own website and if you can't purchase an item directly, get it from somewhere else online. If you, on black Friday, sat down for 3 or 4 hours (generally how long you'd spend at the mall including or not including travel and parking time) and just made a list of every person and every gift, you'd get it all done in one day and you could just coast allllll the way to the finish line. No cold, no traffic, no *cringe* other people. Why do i even have to say this? I don't have to say it. Everyone knows they can shop online and fuck you, EVERYONE has a computer. My Grandpa is 86 and he has a PC. I understand you can't get EVERYTHING online, but if instead of going out to get everything, you only had to go out for 1 or 2 things, life would be so much easier. I did all my shopping online except for 2 gifts. And one of those will not be purchased until AFTER Christmas and it requires I bring Lauren with me to get it.
My personal gripes about Christmas however, have nothing to do with crowds, traffic, or unavailable parking. My biggest Christmas gripe is the yearly extension of the season. The Garden State Plaza (the biggest mall in NJ) decorates for Christmas whatever weekend is closest to Halloween. Didja hear that? That means it's Christmas at the fucking mall BEFORE it's Halloween. There's my problem. Christmas used to start Dec. 1. Then it started before Thanksgiving. Now it's before Halloween. Maybe we should change the name of Autumn to Christmas. That's where we're headed. I would be twice as pissed off if I didn't celebrate Christmas too.
There has been a movement recently to get Santa to stop saying "Ho ho ho," because it's offensive to African American women. This isn't my Myspace blog... so that wasn't a joke. I am 100% dead serious. Santa has been saying "Ho ho ho," since forever. Since long before calling a woman a ho had any meaning. Santa came first. i think we can all agree that it's obvious there is NO connection between Santa Claus and anything even remotely offensive to any race or gender. Who even makes that connection? Anyone who thinks this country isn't getting really out of control with censorship and the 1st amendment is obviously missing something. I don't want to go on about this anymore because it just infuriates me.
Christmas M&Ms... get them. Get them right now. They're mint chocolate... M&Ms. It's a bag full of red, white, and green colored crack rocks that taste ever so much like mint chocolate with a thin candy shell. Enjoy.
It's my favorite season of the year and I'll not let it be ruined by ANYONE! STEP LIVELY PEOPLE!!!
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