My Empty Head Full Of Junk and Other News

Ever just get sad for no reason? Of course you have. It's annoying really because while there are plenty of things in my life to be bummed about, there is currently way more good. Rational m e tells me that all the time. The mind-wandering, manic, irrational me loves to focus on everything that I don't like about my life. No balance. Writing helps. It forces me to put negative thoughts into words and sometimes I see just how ridiculous my mind can be sometimes. I don't tend to annoy my friends with my made-up problems. 2 reasons: first, if annoy them constantly with mountains comprised soley of mole-hills, then they might not want to help me when I have a legitimate problem. I'd also prefer to not have anyone think I'm batshit crazy. The 2nd reason (or is it technically the 3rd?) is that I'm maybe a little scared to open up to people I care about. I don't need everyone I know talking about me (unless they want to discuss exactly how much I rule).

It's funny... life, that is. I didn't have any legitimate gripes when I started writing this. Know though, that I've been slowly adding tho this over the course of the last 6 hours. A line or 2 at a time, since I'm at work. And while everything was fine 6 hours ago, I just found out that my Uncle died. I'm at work so I'm not really able to react how I want to. What I want to do is just sit and think about it a little bit till I get really sad and break down. But I'm at work. Can't do that. Lauren just sent me a text. Completely unrelated to any of this, but it's a funny coincidence that with Jen at work right now, Lauren is the one person I would have gone to for help and there she is texting me (which did in fact, make me smile) having no idea that I'm a slight mess at the moment. That's interesting.

I'll talk more about her later. Another entry perhaps. Right now, i don't know if I want to break something or just go home and play video games so I don't have to think about it. So much for my first entry. It went real smooth. I'll be back, preferably when I'm not at work and I can discuss this further.

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